Saying 'no'

[wood_elf]

Hi all. Knitting etiquette question.

I recently made myself a shawl (see here). It's green and spiky and I love it quite a lot.

Was wearing it today and a person (nice person, want to remain on good terms with this person) also liked it a lot and asked me to knit her one. She was serious about this and offered to buy yarn for it there and then.

I want to say 'no' because I don't want to spend another month knitting the exact same pattern in the same yarn. I don't get as much knitting time as I would like (I mainly knit while commuting), and would rather use the time I have selfishly on projects of my choosing.

This person is very generous and has given me yarngifts in the past (she knits herself, so must understand the time and work involved). I don't want to say 'no' but I really don't want to knit a shawl for her. Any ideas how to proceed while maintaining a good relationship?

There may be an obvious gracious solution I'm overlooking but can be a bit socially clueless at times.

Comments

[pinesandmaples]

My standard reply: "I'm flattered that you like it so much! It was a lot of fun to knit, but I don't take commissions. Knitting is my hobby, and I try really hard to keep it that way. Without knitting, I might go crazy!"

Then I take their preferences into account and consider making something similar for them as a gift for the next gift-giving holiday.

[thistleingrey]

IME this one doesn't work well when talking to another knitter (or crocheter). YMMV, of course; perhaps it's my tone of voice!

[pinesandmaples]

Oh, the line for another knitter is always, "Let me write down the pattern and designer! If you have any questions about the pattern, I'm glad to help you out. It's a great pattern, even though x part was a little tricky." Then I pull out a piece of paper and actually write down the pattern info for the other knitter.

[wood_elf]

Her birthday is Nov/Dec I believe - perhaps could make polite excuses this time then knit one for then. Plenty of time to re-acquire love for the pattern.

I just need to learn alternative 'no' words that don't sound all confrontational :)

[indeliblesasha]

I would try "I would love to! But I have some projects that need to be finished before I add another and it would be a long time before I could get to it. Would you like the pattern so you can do it quicker?"

Good luck :)

[ironed_orchid]

That would be my approach. And it's true! I always have a bunch of things on the go.